Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
