On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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