Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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