yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
