what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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