Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
