I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
