we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
