my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
