How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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