She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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