And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
