so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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