I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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