How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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