She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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