I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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