I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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