(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
