Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
