I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
smell my finger.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
