dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
