No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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