im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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