Your mouth is God's brothel.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
