they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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