She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
