My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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