Betty ford says i'm here all night
i barfeds in our rink
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
