Please, let me fuck your mom
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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