If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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