matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
