My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
