my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
