I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
