So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
