did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
