Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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