Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
