sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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