woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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