So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
