Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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