So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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