Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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