the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
