I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize