Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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