don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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