She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
