it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
