On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
