i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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