NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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