Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
