i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
