P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
