So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
